Six Simple Ways to Harness the Power of AND

Lisa Earle McLeod is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, business consultant and inspirational thought-leader. She is the author of several books, her latest The Triangle of Truth, as well as Forget Perfect and Finding Grace When You Can’t Even Find Clean Underwear.

Wind Enterprises is happy to have Lisa as our guest blogger for the month of December.

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“Instead of thinking in terms of either/or, we’ll get better results if we think in terms of AND.”

Either/or thinking is the bane of human existence.

Whether it’s business, politics or relationships, either/or thinking dumbs down pretty much everything. Be it an interdepartmental turf war or an argument with your spouse about the best way to load a dishwasher, the moment we descend into an either/or, I’m-right-so-you-must-be-wrong mindset, is the very moment we lose the opportunity to create anything better than what we’ve already got.

Either/or thinking is easy to spot in others. Who hasn’t been frustrated by a black/white thinker who refuses to see any perspective except his own?

Yet many of us fall into the either/or trap ourselves, without even realizing it. Like when we assume that the boss can either side with us or our hopelessly misguided coworker. Or that we have to choose between being a good parent or a good provider, or that life is a quest for either love or money.

However, instead of thinking in terms of either/or, we’ll get better results if we think in terms of AND. As in, perhaps the boss can implement your ideas AND those of your coworkers. Maybe there’s a creative way to be a great parent AND a great provider, and have a life that includes lots of love AND money.

Here are six suggestions for harnessing the power of AND in your own life:

1. Make peace with ambiguity – AND takes longer than either/or because the solutions aren’t always readily apparent. But wading through a little uncertainty is how you make things better.

2. Withhold judgment – Passing judgment too quickly shuts down the creative process. When you immediately decide that something, or someone, is wrong, it prevents you from seeing the positive kernels buried inside. The idea might be half-baked, AND some elements of it might be great.

3. Question with curiosity – Jumping to all the reasons why something won’t work – my spouse won’t go for it or I can’t afford it – takes potential solutions off the table before you’ve even explored them. Instead, try asking, “What element of this might work?”

4. Lose the labels – Labels are helpful when it comes to file folders, but they don’t serve us well when it comes to people and ideas. People are both good AND bad, and their ideas are both right AND wrong. If you find yourself saying the words bad AND wrong a lot, stop. Chances are, you’re missing about half of what the world has to offer.

5. Eliminate should – Just because someone once told you that good parents, or nice people, or hard workers “should” act a certain way, doesn’t mean that model still holds. Trying to adhere to a one-dimensional version of the way you think you should be diminishes your own potential. However, if you can open your mind to the possibility that you can be this AND that, you’ll tap into more of your own internal power.

6. Take a breath – Either/or thinking is a reactionary, fear-based thought pattern. But if you can take a minute, take a breath, and remind yourself that everything doesn’t have to be settled right now, and that life doesn’t always have to go exactly the way you scripted it, you’ll open yourself up to a whole host of new options.

AND – It’s a simple word, with the power to change everything.

Time to Give Thanks

We’re proud to have Tricia Molloy as our guest blogger for the Thanksgiving Holiday. You can find more from Tricia on her website at www.triciamolloy.com

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As Thanksgiving approaches, thoughts turn to gratitude. For some, it’s the once-a-year holiday ritual around the dinner table as each person proclaims what they’re most thankful for. Family. Health. My job. This meal.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude throughout the year, however, is nothing short of transformative. That’s because of the universal law that states: What you focus on expands. In other words, what you appreciate appreciates. And, where attention goes, energy flows.

Here are three ways to demonstrate the power of gratitude.

1. Feeling fearful? Who isn’t these days? The good news is that fear and gratitude cannot coexist. The next time you’re worrying about money, your business or your children, stop and take a moment to count your blessings. One of the best ways to get a good night’s sleep is to write in a gratitude journal before bedtime.
2. Dealing with challenging relationships? It might be your boss, client, spouse or teenager. Refrain from criticism (what you think, as well as what you say) for one week. Instead, focus on the qualities you most appreciate about that person–even if it’s just that they teach you to be more patient. You’ll begin to notice that the energy will shift and the relationship will be more positive and productive.
3. Turbocharge your goals. As you begin to plan for the New Year and list your resolutions, be thankful for what is and what will be in anticipation of your success.

For more inspiration, check out my friend Vanessa Lowry’s “Days of Gratitude” blog.

Trust in the Workplace

We are pleased to have the Chic Entrepreneur herself, Elizabeth Gordon, as our Guest Blogger talking about Trust in the Workplace.

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As a successful, professional woman you have an optimistic attitude and probably like think that everyone is a good, honest, capable and hardworking person – However you are also smart enough to know that is not always the case. A savvy business lady is never so naive as to forgo her due diligence.
Choosing who you do business with is just as important as what kind of business you do. Avoid getting burned by those not worthy of your time or talents – not to mention your business – with these Chic Tips:

• Make sure you meet all the parties involved. If you are hiring a company – ask to meet the person who will be doing the actual work. For a strategic alliance with another firm, you want to meet all the key players on their end.
• Ask for references – it may seem a bit old hat in the socially networked world of today, but not everyone has a public persona online, if you’d like more information about someone you are thinking of doing business with, ask to speak to some of their other business associates. Have specific questions in mind to ask when you call such as did they meet deadlines, di they have strong work ethic, be specific about what you want to know.
• Know your own ethical boundaries and be firmly rooted in them in all your business dealings.
• Make ethics part of the conversation – don’t assume everyone agrees on what is right and what is wrong.
• Notice your first impression. If you don’t feel comfortable with someone, you are never really going to be able to trust them 100%.
• The eyes don’t lie. Are they comfortable with eye contact or do they get shifty. Body language reveals many clues if someone is trying to deceive you.
• Ask your intuition. Your intuition acts as a natural guidance system. The more comfortable you are in your own body, the better able you will be to hear the wisdom it is trying to share with you.
• Recognize when you’ve trusted the wrong person and get out. Things changes and sometimes so do people. Be aware enough of what’s going out to remove yourself from a bad situation as soon as you recognize it as such.

Trusted relationships are the fabric of society and the fabric of your successful business. You’re too smart to get burned by those whose integrity is not inline with yours. Learn to make good decisions about who you choose to trust, and see more people start to extend their trust to you.

Chic Entrepreneur Elizabeth Gordon is an advisor to entrepreneurs and business leaders. A pioneer in the feminine approach to business, she is the founder of Flourishing Business, an advisory firm for entrepreneurs and the author of 23-week Amazon bestseller, The Chic Entrepreneur: Put Your Business in Higher Heels. She is the co-creator of Your 48 Hour Day: The World’s Simplest Time Solution and on the Board of Directors of Pink Payments, merchant services solutions for women. Elizabeth is a 2008 recipient of The Atlanta Business Chronicle’s 40 Under 40 Up & Comer Award for Atlanta’s best and brightest professionals for her business achievements, civic involvement and impact.

Leading the Organization that Survives

We are pleased to have guest blogger Rick Meekins, CEO Aepiphanni Business Solutions, talking about Leading the Organization that Survives. Enjoy!

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How do you know you’re a leader? “Well, if you look behind you, you will find people following you!” says author and Dean at Regent University, Bruce Winston, PhD in his CD “Table talk”. He goes on to say, ” if nobody is following you, then you aren’t a leader. It’s as simple as that.”

Anyone can get into business – or so they say. Staying in business, however, is the challenge. The Small Business Administration provides figures that suggest that roughly 20% of business last more than 10 years. Of course, some of these businesses merge with or acquired by other firms. Others, still, might be franchises that are assumed by other companies. Natural, economic and personal events impact even more. None the less, most businesses that start never thrive as functional profitable businesses, and a functional, profitable business is often the product of its leadership.

If you want people to follow you, they need to know that you can make GREAT DECISIONS! Does that mean that all of them will be right? No! Must they all make sense? Yes! Does this apply to every leader? Yes! Running a business, no matter the size, requires a great number of decisions to be made, every day, such as:

• Do we start a new marketing campaign
• Has this product reached the end of its life cycle?
• Should we consider offering this customer a discount?
• Should we spin off this business unit?

As a business leader, you are the one who must make those decisions. To be successful as a leader, you need to be able to make a lot of decisions, effectively – which means that while every single decision may not be the right one, you’ve got plausible tools to be able to make that decision. Four tools that we believe will have the greatest impact on decision-making are:

• A passion for what is possible
• A commitment to managing priorities
• Reliable information or a reliable information source
• Courage to assume risk

Having these tools in the right perspective will increase your ability to make good decisions for your company. You will look behind you and see that people are not only following you; they are committed to the same goals and vision you have! The ability to drive your company’s vision is what it takes to lead the organization that survives.

CEO, Aepiphanni Business Solutions is a Strategy Consulting Firm dedicated to serving the needs of business leaders and executives. We specialize in helping people get into business, and stay there. We welcome clients in the personal and professional services industries, including restaurants, catering and event planning. As always, we welcome your comments, thoughts, questions and suggestions. If you are seeking a business assessment, or have further questions about creating your strategy or developing your vision, please give Rick Meekins a call at 678-265-3908, or email us at info@aepiphanni.com.

The Art of Intuition

We are pleased to have guest blogger Cheryl Jensen, CEO, C and S Knowledge. Great thoughts on intuition guided decision making. Enjoy!

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Last week I saw the picture of a U. S. soldier overseas in a war zone on the front page of the New York Times. That, in itself is not unusual. What was unusual was the caption underneath it explaining how the young man had pulled his unit back while on patrol, just before a blast took place on the path they were taking. Call it what you will, luck, good timing or training, I like to think of it as the wonderful tool of Intuition. I frequently hear men say women have intuition but they don’t. I disagree. It is a talent and skill both possess. Our gender stereotypes have reinforced the acceptance of the idea women are better at it than men, but I don’t buy that and neither should you. The difference is women don’t mind claiming it. In fact, most women I know are proud of it. Intuition is a wonderful gift. It’s the mind’s way of taking in information and processing more than the logical brain can put into words. And with practice, intuition can become a powerful tool, especially for leaders. It’s the urge, nudge, or gut feeling that comes to all of us. So, for anyone interested in making better decisions, listen to the message of your intuition. The worst mistakes I’ve ever made, were the times I didn’t!

Resume 101 – How to Land that Job and Keep it Too!

We are pleased to have guest blogger Beverly Molander, President, Next Step Network. LLC, who will share with us how to write that DREAM resume that will help you land that job and keep it too! Enjoy! Linda

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Most of my clients come to me after they have spent hours trying to make themselves look good on their résumé and then realize that their product is blah, boring or unbelievable. Some feel uncomfortable because they have time gaps or painful job experiences that might hinder them from being hired. In their minds, they have already lost the job they want so badly, and it all goes downhill from there.

That is why I say that a résumé is a psychological tool. By writing a résumé that works for you, your confidence increases dramatically; and that helps you through the résumé submission process as well as the interview. By writing the right résumé, you are putting yourself in motion…already moving towards your Next Step.

As a résumé expert, working with clients on taking that Next Step, I remind them, “Focus, not on where you have been, but more importantly, where you want to go.”

Your résumé is not about your past as much as it is your future. When it comes to writing about your past experience, you can quickly build an “information logjam” – a whole pile of details that keeps you stuck and doesn’t allow you to flow freely on to your next job.

It’s time to highlight the experiences you’ve had that will move your forward, and slough off the things that are no longer necessary.

Lots of factors enter into creating a résumé that works for you, and finding your focus is just the first step in clearing the clutter.

Now you are ready to develop your Summary of Qualifications, where you can bring out general attributes that will catch the reader’s eye. The Summary takes the place of an Objective, which is usually either too specific (“senior management position in a mid-sized accounting firm”) or too broad (“to work for a company where I can use my best abilities to further company growth” – YAWN!).

In a Summary of Qualifications, you can highlight the generalized knowledge, skills, and abilities that they want and that you can bring to the table. If there are specific attributes, like exceptional training, foreign language, international experience, or experience with Fortune 100 companies, short mention of these can call positive attention to you. That encourages the reader to look more closely at you as a job candidate. Phrases like background in, professional experience in, skilled in, ability to, proven abilities in, will help you come up with a great paragraph with approximately five sentences or bullets.

As you move into the Professional Experience category, make sure that, when you list your jobs in reverse chronological order (most recent first), you look back at the Summary so you can justify what you said with cold, hard, honest facts.

There are many more variables to consider in résumé writing; however, these ideas can get you started on the right foot, so you can get ready to take your Next Step!

Our guest blogger, Beverly Molander is a resume and Next Step expert. She owned The Résumé Company for 15 years before shifting her focus to Next Step Network, inspiring people to take that Next Step in their personal or professional lives. She can be reached at (404) 931-7333 or molander@nextstepnetwork.net.

It’s all about WEBSITES! Connect with your Customers NOW…

From Linda Wind: From time to time I will be featuring guest bloggers on my site, particularly if I feel that they have pertinent information that could make your life easier and less complicated. Or more positive and less nervous about the state of the economy. Or how about just more profitable? I think we all can live with that one! Enjoy this tidbit of information from our guest blogger of the week, Victoria Wind, Managing Partner, BlackBox Technologies and please let us know your comments on her most recent article at BlackBox found below:

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During this tumultuous time in our nation’s history politically, economically, and culturally, small business leaders are feeling the brunt of the storm from all sides. Revenues are eroding as consumers and businesses slow their spending; margins are squeezed as cost of inputs rise; the Feds are paying little or no attention to the heart and spirit of this economy – the little guys. A recovery in the business climate, folks, is going to take a while. No better time to get close to your customers and lock ‘em in tight. It’s a buyers’ market, and those buyers will be expecting top notch customer service for the precious dollars they are spending on your offerings. Customer service means many things to many people, and your approach to it is highly dependent on the type of business you’re running. But one common trait of all good customer service is “connection” – your customers must feel connected to your business at some level to make the choice to return to you for their next transaction. You could also define it as “relationship,” but I’d like to stay more shallow than that here. How do you deepen those connections that lead to valuable relationships?

Of course, the manner in which you conduct face-to-face or voice-to-voice interaction with your client is the foundation of any connection with your customer base. Undisputed. Traditional advertising media (newspaper, TV, mags, radio) are strategic connection points as well but do not actively serve your customers. Plus these media cost big bucks, and in this environment, we all don’t have a lot of coin to throw around on casting wide nets. So, what ARE some inexpensive, but high return, connection points that you can establish for your business right away?

The best place to start is your website. If you don’t have one, you’ve just missed a key opportunity (or a hundred). Customers these days expect you to be on the web in some shape or fashion, even if the content is no more than what’s on your business card. But they can be so much more effective in establishing deeper connection points with your customer. The end game here is building a loyal customer base cheaply and, heck, having fun doing it.

DESIGN FOR IMPACT: Using a web presence to convey a similar feeling to what your customers receive in dealing with you in person or in your store will enhance the experience factor of doing business with you. So use logos, colors, effects, and overall tone that jive with your company’s attitude and culture.

SPEAK OUT: Add a blog. Not just for your personal website anymore! Your customers care about your point of view and want to see the depth of your expertise. Show them what you know and what you think. Allow them to comment and respond back to your thoughts with their own perspectives. Not only are you connecting with your customer, but also you are gaining valuable feedback info from your base.

CIRCLE UP: Start a discussion board on your website. An alternative or supplement to a blog, this tool allows you to circle up your customers and spark dialog among them. A board is a great way to bond your customers together and, if the discussion is compelling enough, gain additional followers who could turn into customers. Another advantage to discussion boards is that you have an instant focus group with which to test new ideas and concepts.

MAKE THE SALE: Put your products and offerings on sale on your website. Customers are not afraid to buy online, and research shows that they would buy more and more often if their favorite stores and service providers enabled a shopping cart on their websites. Additionally, e-commerce allows you to reach out geographically to customers you never thought you had. Implementing this function on your site is so easy… don’t be intimidated.

Fundamentally, you should consider your website to be an additional sales channel and source of competitive advantage for your business, not simply a static information source (YAWN!). Obviously, this list is not exhaustive, but these are little things that you can do to differentiate your business and keep your customers connected to you and, more importantly, coming back for more. I didn’t address social media in this brief, but you’ll be seeing more about how to integrate those fantastic tools as customer connection points on this blog. Stay tuned for more!

Victoria Wind

Managing Partner, BlackBox Technologies, LLC

February 23, 2009

Friday the 13th, a Flat Tire, James & Making a Difference

It was just your everyday hurry-up-and-rush-so-I-can-make-it-to-the-airport-on-time morning for me. No matter that it was Friday the 13th…that thought hadn’t even entered my consciousness (yet) at that point. I hurried down the 30 stories of my girlfriend’s condo (in an elevator, of course!), suitcases in tow, a heavy box of my upcoming leadership conference flyers atop one of them, and believe it or not, I was actually ahead of schedule! Sure to be an on-time arrival at the airport for me today! I was elated!

I got in my rental car after throwing my luggage in the trunk, said goodbye to my girlfriend and started my car. I pulled out of the covered parking space and noticed something strange with the steering, but kept going because I had to make it to the airport on time…it was the last available flight (at noon before Valentine’s Day weekend, and I had already tried several times to get a later one but to no avail.) So I pulled out of the garage, took a right toward the stop sign, and I immediately sensed I was in trouble – the horrible “get sick in the pit of your stomach” routine, the KNOWING, that YES, YOU have a FLAT TIRE! It was unfortunately validated by this young 30-something year old man in blue jeans and a sweatshirt who just happened to be walking by, and who was waving me over and saying “Lady, you have a flat tire.”

Panic immediately took control over my smug state of calmness – I had been so positively anticipating my “on time arrival” to the airport, and now my hopes were dashed. What would I do? AAA would certainly take too long, and I most assuredly was not skilled in the art of tire changing (though perhaps a good topic for my next Possible Woman Leadership Conference for sure!) So I got out of the car, told this young man that I was on my way to the airport for my 12:30 flight, and he said, “don’t worry, I will change the tire for you. I have a car just like this and it will only take a minute.” So he took control (good thing because I wouldn’t have known what to do,) took the spare out of the trunk and proceeded to jack the car up and replace the old tire with the spare. While talking with him I learned that he was on the way to make his mortgage payment, had several mini-car wash stations in the area, and that his name was James. He had left his business cards in his car at the car wash.

By this time my girlfriend pulled up in her car and joined our conversation. She said she would bring her car to get washed at his car wash, which she did later in the day. James was great! He literally saved the day for me, or at least guaranteed my last chance at an airplane ride back home that same day…and I am eternally grateful to him for helping me out of the kindness of his heart. So James, if you are reading this, thank you for helping me actually make my “on-time arrival” with American Airlines today. You have truly made a difference in MY life. And when I find out his last name I will post it on a future blog so all of you reading this can take your cars to his car wash too! Thanks, James, from the bottom of my heart! And a Happy Valentines Weekend to all of you!

Look Beyond the Blame and Change Someone’s Life

Today I received an email from a young mother in my subdivision….well, the email was not to me specifically; it was a group email of a large number of subdivision Mom’s from one of the mom’s asking for guidance about how to handle vandalism in one of our neighborhoods. She was asking “…how to explain this (the vandalism of Holiday yard decorations) to my two children? I have told them that I hope that they would never make a child sad by damaging someone else’s hard work and happiness. But my son wants to know why someone would do this. What do I tell him? What do I tell him when he asks me why someone would be mean to him? I’m new at this whole explaining the bad/mean things in the world. I have always tried to shelter my kids but I know that it is getting harder to do as they get older. Any advice would be welcomed.”

Interestingly I felt compelled to reply, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you as well. If you have any comments, and they would be very welcome, please DO leave them on the comments section of my blog.

“I can understand your frustrations, but sheltering your children will only cause more pain down the road. They may even, at some point, perceive that you have lied to them and resent you for doing that. Honesty is the best measure, delivered gently yet firmly. What other people do or say may not always be the right thing, and the adage “what goes around comes around” I have found to be true throughout my entire life. And especially I have found that it is truly in giving that we receive. One must realize that we are all on a journey, the journey of life. During that journey we each will have many joys, many sorrows, many up moments and many down moments. People will be kind to us, cruel to us, indifferent to us and welcoming to us. Because we grow and evolve at different times, someone who does something that is not kind, either to people, animals or the environment, is most likely at a critical juncture in their own development. Remember that every human being (and that includes you, me, your family and your friends), is dealing with a struggle of some sort – maybe its financial, work related, or family related. Maybe, just maybe, these vandals are struggling with having parents who don’t spend time with them (which incidentally, is the greatest gift we can give our children.) We must all realize that we cannot judge another person because of their actions, because we don’t know what has caused the pain, hurt or loneliness that they must be dealing with that would cause them to do such a thing. As you well know, the youth of today are dealing with monumental issues that people in my generation, or in your generation, have never had to deal with, much less all at one time. The world is at war, the environment is being pillaged and devastated daily, global warming is threatening our very existence….when our children go to school they are faced with typical teenage peer issues and potential gun violence, they have to deal with a prevalent drug culture and they live daily with the violence, either personally or everywhere they turn (TV, video games, movies, etc.) I am not condoning this vandalism, please understand. I am just saying that it’s important that you explain to your children that sometimes people do things that are unkind and unloving because they themselves are struggling with loneliness and lack of love. And to teach your children that by showing kindness and giving others the benefit of the doubt when bad things happen, may be a very special gift to that person or persons. And in turn, I promise you that it will positively impact your children and your family. So don’t be disappointed, be compassionate and look beyond the blame….you may just change someone’s life in the process. Thanks and good luck.” Linda

Once again, let me know your thoughts, and if YOU have suggestions for this mom, email them to me and I will forward them to her. Hope you are having a wonderful Holiday Season, and you will hear from me soon!

Warmly, Linda

From Overload to Calm, Creating the Magic of Change in Your Life!

As the Thanksgiving Holiday gratefully comes to a close, and the whimsical sounds of the 2008 Holiday Season penetrate the air, we are reminded, hopefully, of what is really important in our lives…friends, family, our loved ones and our animal companions. Those who make us laugh, who give us a reason to go on, and who are truly there for us when we need them. We are so inundated with overload everywhere we turn – at work, at home, from our Blackberry’s, iPhones and email, in our Holiday preparations, while shopping for that special gift…..life can be truly overwhelming if we allow it to be.

But there are ways to overcome what I call the “overwhelm factor,” and they include starting the day with mindful thoughtfulness, taking deep breaths regularly throughout the day, and being aware and respectful of your surroundings and appreciating those whom you are with. Being truly present is the greatest gift that we can give to anyone, our co-workers, spouse, partner, children, friends…anyone who comes into our lives for a moment, a day, a week, a month or a lifetime. By practicing mindful awareness in every waking moment of your life, you will discover the amazing clarity of personal perception, understanding and feeling of life balance that will begin to emerge in your life, even if ever so slowly.

So during this 2008 Holiday season, as our busy lives get even more hectic with those frantic last-minute shopping trips, wonderfully festive parties, baking of holiday cookies, and wrapping of those oh-so-special gifts, lets not forget the true meaning of this special season…..the smile on a child’s face, the laughter of friends and family, the warmth of a pet’s love, the softness of a newborn baby’s touch, the contentment of being with our loved ones and the joy of giving to those less fortunate….it’s a time for all of us to realize our connectedness with each other and the world we live in. It’s a time for all of us to come together, finally, in the spirit of peace, hope, love and prosperity, to create the magic of change in our lives and make the wish of new beginnings for the world come true. And it all begins with you.

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